Why perfectly reasonable people completely misunderstand each other

Sometimes nobody is wrong. You’re simply operating with completely different behavioural logic.

Here’s one of the more irritating facts about human beings: Two fairly intelligent, more or less reasonable, normally well-intentioned people can sit in the same room, discuss the same problem, hear exactly the same words and still walk away with completely different conclusions.

I mean, we react to how they say it, how quickly they say it, how much detail they provide, how certain they sound, whether they interrupt, hesitate, smile, pause, push, withdraw…

Basically, everything.

One person says: “Let’s make a decision.”

• A Red person may hear: Finally.
• A Blue person may hear: Based on what information?
• A Green person may hear: Why the rush?
• A Yellow person may hear: Great. And while we’re at it, I have this brilliant idea…

Same sentence. Four different realities. And this is where perfectly reasonable people start thinking the other person has lost their mind.

• The fast person thinks the careful person is painfully slow.
• The careful person feels the fast person is just careless.
• The enthusiastic person feels the quiet person is horribly negative.
• The quiet person thinks the enthusiastic person may need professional medical attention.

Well, now. Nobody is necessarily wrong. They’re simply judging the situation through different behavioural filters.