Your greatest strength may be what people dislike most about you

The same behaviour that makes you effective can also make you exhausting.

Here’s a behavioural trap almost everyone I meet sooner or later falls into: We trust our strengths.

Of course we do. If being direct has worked for us before, we keep being direct. If enthusiasm has opened doors, we add even more enthusiasm. If precision has saved us from mistakes, we become even more precise. And so on.

Makes perfect sense. Sort of. Until it doesn’t. Because a strength used too much doesn’t stay a strength. It mutates in a really devious way.

Directness becomes bluntness. Enthusiasm becomes chaos.

Patience becomes passivity. Precision becomes paralysis.

And the really annoying part? We usually don’t notice when it happens. Why would we? From our point of view, we’re simply doing more of what has always worked.

This is one of the most useful things to understand about behaviour: your problems are not always hiding in your weaknesses. Sometimes they are hiding inside your strengths.

The dominant one who gets things done may eventually start running over people.

The influential one who creates energy may start exhausting the room.

The stable one who keeps everyone calm may avoid saying what actually needs to be said.

The analytical one who protects quality may keep analysing long after the decision should have been made.

Ouch.