The man who stood up mid-lecture (and kind of broke my brain)

Most people sit quietly during lectures. Some take notes. A few nods. And then there’s… Peter.

I give about 120 talks a year. Crowds range from 50 to 5,000. I’m used to people sitting, listening, checking their phones, pretending not to check their phones. The usual.

But Peter? He broke the mold.

Middle-aged, confident posture, shirt a little too crisp. About halfway through my talk on communication styles, Peter just stood up. In the middle of the crowd.

Not to leave. Not to ask a question. Just stood there, like he’d suddenly remembered he left the stove on but decided to handle it standing up.

I paused.
So did everyone else.
Because, you know, Peter is now vertical.

He raised a hand like a man about to bless the crowd and said:
“My wife is yellow. I’m red. We’ve been married for 24 years, and I’ve just realized we’ve been speaking different languages the whole time.”

And then he sat down.
Not a question. Not a joke. Just a declaration of emotional enlightenment – loudly delivered to 800 total strangers.

It was beautiful. And yet deeply uncomfortable.
Because this is what reds do. They get a thought in their head, and the body just moves. They don’t check the social weather first. They don’t test the waters. They just go.

And this is why, when reds and yellows finally see each other for who they really are – not just what they hope the other person will become – something shifts. Tension eases. Conversations get easier. Fewer things are taken personally.

Quick tip:

Don’t wait for a crisis (or the next lecture with some self-proclaimed author) to understand someone’s communication style. Ask. Observe. Watch what they do when they’re not performing.

People usually tell you who they are – but not always in words.

A colourful moment:

After that same talk, a lady came up to me while I was packing my laptop and whispered:

“I heard that guy Peter. You know, my boss is rather blue. I’m yellow. This explains everything.”
She nodded thoughtfully.
And then, with a broad smile, added:
“Now what do I do?”

My response?

“Step one: stop sending emojis in formal emails.”

She gasped.
“Oh, you saw those, didn’t you?”

Very yellow.
Very obvious.
Very unavoidable.

See you next Wednesday.
//Thomas