When crossed arms don’t mean go away

People love reading into body language. It’s like a secret superpower we all think we have. Unfortunately, a lot of the time, we get it wrong.

Take crossed arms.
The classic signal of defensiveness. Or anger. Or being closed off. Or pure, undiluted boredom.
Or… just being cold. Or tired. Or unsure of what to do with those floppy things attached to your shoulders.

Honestly – who does?

We’ve all done it. You’re standing at a party, holding a drink in one hand, trying to look relaxed, when suddenly you realize you have one hand too many.
Solution: Cross your arms.
Problem solved: But you look like you’re resisting everything in the room.

But here’s the real issue: body language always means something, but that something depends on the context. And the person. And the moment.

A red might cross their arms to dominate a room. It’s a power-pose.
A green might do it to hide in plain sight. It becomes a cover.
A blue might do it without even realizing they’re doing it. They’re just a bit … stiff.
And a yellow? Frankly, they rarely stand still long enough to cross anything.

So no, don’t assume people hate your ideas just because their arms are folded.
But also – don’t ignore it.

Because the body leaks the truth.
Sometimes loudly. Sometimes subtly.
And sometimes just… through forearms.

Quick tip:

If you see crossed arms – don’t just stop there. Look at the rest:
Feet? Face? Tone? Posture? One signal never tells the whole story.

And here’s a bonus: when did the arms cross? The timing matters.
Did they start open, but shut down midway through your monologue about quarterly targets?

Did they fold up just as you mentioned “team-building exercises” or “mandatory workshops”?

Were they wide open until you brought up their last performance review?

Because if their arms are crossed, and they weren’t before – something just shifted.

Might be your fault. Just saying.

A colourful moment:

During a workshop, I asked a red manager why he always stood with his arms crossed.
He said:
“So I don’t start pointing at people.”
Honestly?
That’s self-awareness.
And a mild threat.
Both.

See you next Wednesday.
//Thomas