You can’t hug someone in a comment section

Reactions aren’t relationships.

Someone posts they lost their job. You comment: “So sorry to hear that.” Someone shares a photo of their newborn. You tap the heart. Someone opens up about burnout. You drop a 🙏 or a 💪 or just… scroll past. You were there, kind of. Or were you?

Here’s an uncomfortable truth: I think we sometimes confuse reaction with connection.

A quick comment is not a conversation. A like is not comfort. An emoji isn’t empathy. It’s an emoji. Period.

Of course, these tools aren’t all bad. Often, they do the job. But they’re what we’ve got. But somewhere along the way, we started acting like they’re enough. I would argue they aren’t.

When someone’s hurting, confused, grieving, doubting – what they often need isn’t visible. It’s not public. It’s not performative. And it definitely can’t be typed in 12 characters or less.

Real comfort is quiet.
It doesn’t need likes.
But it needs presence.

Quick tip:

Next time someone shares something real with you … don’t just react. Write them. Call them. Yes, you have the time. No, you are not being too busy to care about a friend in need. Be specific. Be warm. Be human. Because no one’s ever said:

“I was really struggling… and then someone liked my TikTok-post. Yeay!”

A colourful moment:

A woman once told me: “My friend posted that her dad passed away. I wrote a long message. She didn’t reply.” I asked, “Did you follow up?” She said, “No… I figured she was overwhelmed.”

A week later, her friend reportedly said: “I really needed someone to call. I just didn’t know how to ask.”

See you next Wednesday.
//Thomas