The spotlight effect: no one’s looking at you (relax)

You’re not being judged as much as you think. In fact, most people are too busy thinking about themselves.

The spotlight effect is a psychological phenomenon where we believe we’re being noticed more than we actually are.

Spill coffee on your shirt?
Stumble during a presentation?
Say something weird at lunch?

You might replay it 40 times.
Everyone else? They’ve already moved on. Or, to be frank – they could not care less.

Research at Cornell University showed that people dramatically overestimate how much others notice their mistakes or appearance.

But why? Well. We’re constantly stuck inside our own heads

Quick tip:

Assume no one’s paying that much attention to your awkward moment.
They’re too busy worrying about theirs.

A colourful moment:

A guy once whispered to me after a keynote, “I tripped walking up the stairs. Spilled som coffee. Felt so stupid”
I said, “Yes. But no one remembers. Except maybe you.”
He smiled. “I’ve replayed it 20 times in my head.”
I said, “I’ve tripped walking on the stage. I survived. You’ll be just fine.”

See you next Wednesday.
//Thomas